A ‘Fluke’ in this situation

I’m convinced Gucci is the maker of Sandra Fluke’s birth control.

This Georgetown law student upset many of her guy friends Feb. 23 when she took time off to testify in front of the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee on the need for the federal government to subsidize contraception for women. “Without insurance coverage,” Fluke said, “contraception, as you know, can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school.”

$3,000 is enough money for a law school student to purchase enough condoms to have sex approximately three times a day for three years.

You should be dubious of Fluke’s numbers, but obviously not her stamina. Even if Fluke and other women have grown accustomed to swallowing 24-karat gold flakes as contraception, they might find it economical to check out their local Target, where generic oral contraceptives can be purchased without insurance for $9.

Nonetheless, feminists like Fluke still incessantly seek government intervention in their most personal choices. And yet they still claim to live under the mantras “Keep your laws off my body!” and “I want the government out of my bedroom!”

Then why do they find it necessary for their sugar daddy Uncle Sam to purchase their birth control for them? I thought they were reliant on no one. The exception in the feminist’s independence, I guess, is when their urge to have sex with men they don’t want to have children with supersedes their ability to save a few bucks a month to buy their own contraception. How embarrassing.

Liberal feminists have resulted to supporting legislation that forces Catholic institutions — like, say, Georgetown University! — to violate their conscience and provide employees with contraception under the name of “insurance.”

Insurance is used to guarantee compensation for certain catastrophic events. Fluke rightly labels an inebriated college guy as a “catastrophic event.”

If health insurance covers birth control, can I get my auto insurance to cover what it costs to fill up my tank? Without insurance coverage, gasoline, as you know, can cost the average CSUF commuter $5,200 over four years.

Efforts like these abuse not only the insurance system, but also our liberty. If we continue to roll over every time a women’s studies major testifies before Congress on a new right that’s essential to her education, who knows what we’ll end up having to subsidize (I foresee short haircuts, Bill Clinton posters and copies of The Second Sex.)

We shouldn’t be forced subsidize the choices of others just because that group says they’re essential. Birth control is not essential. And if you find it too difficult to abstain from intercourse, then I bet you can find $9 somewhere.

In fact, maybe the price of birth control should go up. It might encourage law students to spend more time studying. If we can get it down to doing it only once a day, perhaps that B in Civil Procedure might seem more attainable.

It certainly shouldn’t pass as health insurance either. It’s intellectually dishonest to pretend this debate is about women using oral contraceptives to manage mild acne or treat polycystic ovary syndrome.

Sandra Fluke is a caricature of the modern liberal feminist. They describe themselves as capable, independent women, who, quite humorously, prefer that Uncle Sam pay for their irresponsibility. Their efforts eat away at personal liberty and they declare a war on women whenever anyone questions their policy proposal.

So let’s take them up on their offer.

Let’s wage war against all their selfish manipulation and hope that one day our insurance covers acts of liberals.

About Keith Fierro