Christmas parties are in no shortage as we transition from pumpkin pie and football in November to ugly sweaters and office potlucks in December. Neither are gangster parties, as gangsters from Miami, Oakland and Detroit bust out the Cristal and purple drank to keep warm in the cold months of December and January.
A marriage between these two types of parties is a perfect nexus between your family’s tame holiday parties and your crazy hood-rat adventures on a Friday night; the name speaks for itself. It somehow meshes together the rapper and actor Ludacris, who comes from Atlanta City (where parties don’t stop till 8 in the mornin’), and Christmas, America’s favorite time of the year.
Ludachristmas was most famously portrayed in the second season of the NBC show 30 Rock in the episode “Ludachristmas,” which aired Dec. 13, 2007. In the episode, semi-fictional Tracy Jordan, played by Tracy Morgan, and the cast writers on the show prepare for their annual Ludachristmas party. Hilarity ensues when Morgan is required to wear a court-ordered alcohol monitoring device. The episode is hilarious, but its real importance lies in the fact that it introduced a new cultural holiday to its international audience: Ludachristmas.
There are several ways to throw a Ludachristmas party, but let me share with you how to do it Fullerton style. Aw yea!
1. Give the party a theme: There are two dangers when throwing a Ludachristmas party. First, it can get way too Christmas-y. We are not here to open presents or drink hot cocoa around a tree. Secondly, it can sometimes get a little too gangster. If you’re on the streets at 2 a.m. yelling at the police that they suck, it has probably passed the appropriate gangster threshold. Do not worry if your first few tries at a Ludachristmas are still experimental, it takes a while to get it perfect.
2. Chose a time to celebrate: My Ludachristmas parties usually fall on the first or second week of the New Year. This way college students are free because they have already enjoyed time with their families and you bypass the risk that everybody is going to have a little too much of the Christmas spirit. Your music selection should consist of Dirty Boyz’s “All I Want For Christmas is to Get Crunk,” not “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”
3. Choose nicknames for the party to spice it up a little: Snoop Nog, Dr. Dreidel, Saint Nicki Minaj and Mistletoe Elliot are only a few. Your creativity is the only thing that can hold you back from a great moniker. These are great ways for those who don’t celebrate Christmas to mix in a little shout-out for the holidays. Remember, we’re gangsters who embrace all walks of life.
4. Make that guest list: Remember, anyone is invited. Whether people admit it or not, hipsters, fraternity members and computer nerds all wanted to be gangsters growing up, but maybe not a full-blown gangster. By day they might have wanted to be a dentist, but at night, they wanted to roll with a posse 10 deep. Ludachristmas is that one time of year everybody can remember and re-enact their teenage dreams of dating those ridiculously attractive guys and girls who danced in the background of N.E.R.D. videos.
5. Don’t forget food: This is a half Christmas-themed holiday. Forget the New Year’s resolutions and have a delicious Costco pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and toppings, a barbecue tri-tip or Newcastle-soaked beer brats (these have always worked for me). You can keep it simple, but this is a holiday to celebrate without holding back. You can work on watching your carbs in February.
6. Don’t be creepy and be safe: Everybody is supposed to have swag on this holiday. Also, no drinking and driving. You do not want to be the type of gangster that goes to jail recklessly, putting other people’s lives in danger. If you’re under 21, have some non-alcoholic pimp juice.
The best parties are always the ones with a theme. Ludachristmas allows people of all colors and creeds to realize that for one night, they’re all the same. Enjoy one another’s company and the extra celebrating for another week after New Year’s Day.