Frisk Me: I’m proud to be a slut

According to my old high school boyfriend during our sophomore year, I was a slut for having romantic feelings for my math tutor—a fellow student, president of the Fencing Club, the sweetest young man everyone liked and got along with and only a couple years my senior.

SLUT.

Hearing that ambiguous word directed at me—then, the innocent virgin who freaked out at the thought of moving up the ladder from frenching to second base—was the equivalent to having a needle pierced through my heart and being bitch-slapped across the face.

As I have sexually matured and finally got around to losing my virginity at the ripe old age of 18, I can now say I understand the meaning of “slut.” I am a walking depiction of the word that was originally used against me to hurt and embarrass.

“You are NOT a slut,” my friends will tell me.

When they hear “slut,” they think of the negative connotation they’ve been so used to associating the word with: a woman who has promiscuous sex with every man she sees, a woman who thinks dressing trashy is fashionable and sexy, a woman who is desperate for attention from anyone, etc. It certainly is a horrible definition of my character.

The word, defined by UrbanDictionary.com contributor “undertheinfluence,” means, in layman’s terms, “A woman who sleeps with many men.”

His example of the definition was, “The difference between a slut and a whore is a whore wants something in return, a slut does it just because she likes it.”

In that case, I would be lying if I said I didn’t lean more toward the “slut” end of the spectrum. The only thing I have asked from a man in return for sex is if he would say my name during the act of. That’s not prostitution—that’s me really getting into it. Hence, I like it.

But I guess it still sounds bad.

However, according to contributor “Laura,” the word has a negative definition and a positive one. A “slut” is either:

“A girl who has sex but does not enjoy it, who is used by guys and lets them do it,” or “A girl who likes sex, so she does it. She probably is not in a relationship, and she equalizes herself to guys by treating sex the same way they do.”

“The difference between the two examples of what society labels as ‘sluts’ is that one has self-respect, the other does not,” she writes.

“Laura” my dear, you nailed it! (Pardon the pun.)

See, supposedly, men can have all the sex they want, and it’s generally socially acceptable, because men naturally are horny bastards who can’t control themselves. Women, who are supposed to be more rational and think with their brains instead of their vaginas, must control their hormones in a conservative manner, lest they are married, or at least in a committed long-term relationship.

Oh, puh-lease! What is this crap society’s trying to spoon-feed me?

I have just as much right to have raging, out-of-control hormones as men do. When I feel like I’m going to burst a few days before my happy-time-of-the-month, I’m not going to go home and hump my pillow or masturbate in secrecy. I’m going to have sexual intercourse with a man and enjoy it, God damn it!

And when I want it, I have it with a man who legitimately cares about me and who I can trust: in all cases, good friends with benefits who insist on using a condom every time and will actually text me to see how my day is going—not to ask for pictures of my tits. If my only option for the month is some random guy off the street, I know well enough to refrain.

I respect myself enough to save the energy for someone who is man enough to respect me and my feelings. That’s right. I try to come off like I’m tough shit, but I can lose control of my emotions just like any other functioning female. (Doesn’t happen often, though.)

Guess what, guys. We’re human. It’s in our animalistic instincts to feel compelled to have sex. It’s not immoral. It’s not wrong. It’s how both men and women are naturally designed. If I want to go out and have sex, then by George, I’ll do it, and won’t let anyone slap the big scarlet letter “S” on my ass for everyone to see and judge me for.

The only requirements I set for myself are that I protect my partner and myself at all costs, and that I fully understand that everything decision I make is for me. And if that’s what it means to be “slutty,” then I have no shame in being just that.

About Charlotte Knight