By
April Ehrlich
Daily Titan Features Editor
Published: March 03, 2010
I once berated certain vegans for being arrogant. A very small population of responses agreed – they, too, had experienced pomposity regarding a “showing off” of prominent cruelty-free diets. But I think we forgot to mention something that I’ve only recently decided to embrace.
First, I was a loose vegetarian, or as some would put it, a “half-assed” vegetarian. I would eat, say, chicken broth if my mom were to cook me soup, or sushi when my dad would take me out for dinner. These situations were few and far between and were typically for the sake of loved ones and cultural experiences.
But, now I can see that I was wrong.
I have decided to stop eating fish and other animal-murdering substances such as gelatin and broth. In addition to this, I have nixed all forms of dairy from my diet, such as cheese, yogurt and ice cream.
Why? Well, let’s just say a light has shone upon me. I now understand why anybody would call an egg-frying, milk-chugging vegetarian an insufferable monster that was raised off a family of twits. Veganism, after all, stretches all the way back to the 1940s. At this point, how can anybody NOT understand and bow down to vegan culture?
After all, we Americans are so good at understanding and embracing diversity. That is why I am now telling all of my omnivore friends, family and casual acquaintances that they are wrong. I don’t care if you were raised off chicken fingers, or if your species had developed canine teeth after billions of years of natural selection – your culture and your beliefs are completely wrong, and better yet, monstrous.
Vegans aren’t any better. Did you know that when a fruit is picked, the stems and leaves of the tree are damaged? Stems are essential to hold leaves up to catch sun rays for photosynthesis, which is vital for a tree’s sustenance, and they also hold up flowers to allow insects and birds to attain nutrients in order to pollinate the planet. By consuming hand-picked fruits and vegetables, we are stealing a tree’s ability to spread its seeds naturally, whilst starving insects and birds.
That is why I’ve decided to only eat fruits that have naturally fallen from the tree and hit the ground. I have become a fruitarian, because fruit nutrition does not pollute the earth and allows the birth of new trees that provide life-supporting nutrients, unlike those barbaric vegans wolfing down standard store-bought fruit.
So I don’t eat anything unless it has naturally fallen from a branch. Also, I have stopped using all products that either test on animals or deplete any form of natural resources. That means no shampoo, no soap, and no deodorant, not even Tom’s (Tom’s all-natural products still consume sources that could feed or house an animal, which is more important than deodorizing my armpits). I am no longer washing my clothes, because that uses water essential to fish, and I do not walk on the sidewalk, because I don’t agree with paving an insect’s home.
Then again, if I am still eating fruit, that means I will be eating the seeds that are essential to tree reproduction, so if we all become fruitarians, we will deplete the earth’s fruit supply such as apples, oranges and persimmons. Dear God, what would we do without persimmons?!
Well, it looks like the least hypocritical way to avoid the exploitation of animals and natural sources is to just stop eating altogether. So, I guess I will starve and die one day, but long live Mother Earth!
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if you can’t do something 100%, don’t bother trying at all? what a clever argument! using the fear of hypocrisy to elevate underachieverment to the status of a moral virtue is truly a worthwhile endeavor.
thank you for your valuable contribution.
I don’t know how your writing gets published, but I feel sorry for you and the Daily Titan. I can’t believe that there is nothing more stimulating to write about than your illogical opinion of vegans. You don’t have to like them, but you don’t have to bash them for their beliefs. They aren’t the violent ones.
I hope you don’t pursue a career in journalism.
Why are you so hateful to people who are trying to do their best according to their moral beliefs? Who is being the judgmental one here? As a vegan, I don’t expect perfection out of anyone, least of all myself, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t even try to make a difference.
It’d be one thing if this was part of a sincere discussion on what the problem is or is not and what we should do to fix it. It’s not. What it sounds like — and maybe I’m wrong, this is just my impression — is the hateful rant of someone who is insecure with he own choices and therefore wants others to give up trying in order to make her feel more comfortable with not doing enough. I’m appalled that The Daily Titan would even publish such hate speech.
Your moral position doesn’t hold water. It’s similar to the nincompoops who would give me crap about driving an SUV even though my suv got better mileage than alot of other cars i’ve had that were suvs. All the while they lived in homes that could have been habitat for animals, drove on freeways that are destroying the earth, went to see concerts in bars that could be habitats, ate vegetables that could have been providing valuable oxygen to the planet, bought books that trees were used to make, I could really go on and on. Do you have any idea how much toxic waste that computer you used to post that comment on produced Meg? You just want to be different and are confused and misguided. Just shut up about what you eat.
Shame on you, this is ridiculous.
Please, delete this article.
@silencedogood So, I’m supposed to shut up about what I eat, but everyone else gets a free pass so long as they are criticizing what I eat? What logic is that?
My moral position is that unnecessarily hurting and killing animals is wrong.
It is unnecessary for me to intentionally hurt/kill animals for fashion, food, or entertainment — or to pay someone else to do the dirty work.
Ergo, I try my best not to.
I’m not pulling the hamburger out of anyone’s hand. I’m not going around shouting “SHAME ON YOU FOR EATING ANIMALS!” No — not even that.
All I am asking is that people who aren’t willing to give up exploiting animals stop being so hostile to those of us who are willing.
Again, just because I can’t do everything doesn’t mean that I should be criticized for doing something. What logic is that? Do you go around telling people to throw their garbage in the woods because they still make garbage so it doesn’t make a difference? Do you go around chastizing people who don’t beat their kids because they occasionally lose their temper and say something hurtful?
If you don’t feel like you’re doing enough, then stop criticizing those who are trying and instead go out and do something positive.
Oh, April, this is so very ordinary. Vegans hear this stuff all the time.
I agree with Barbra. April, your piece reads like a cross between a sixth grader’s rant in her diary and the typical hostile anti-animal rights comments that show up in stories in the worst tabloids. And I mean this with reference to both your tone and the quality of your writing. Seriously. You’re trying to incite hatred and contempt for people who’ve done you no harm and who merely seek to live their own lives not using animals and The Daily Titan is embarrassing itself in publishing your diatribes. It’s a real shame.
With Barbara, that is.
*Blinks* Wait – what?
I am utterly stunned that The Daily Titan would publish such absolute drivel. In fact, I am not entirely sure why I am even wasting the few seconds it will take me to leave a comment. Your article has nothing positive to offer at all – it’s just an immature little rant by someone who really has nothing original to say (and clearly far too much time on her hands).
Seriously. Grow up.
Great piece. Don’t let these oversensitive vegan clowns get you down.
Jerome needs to read the US constitution. Are you really trying to silence someone because they disagree with you? Are you a member of the Muslim Student Association or something?
No one is trying to silence anyone; however, calling out immature whining for BEING immature whining is not censorship.
Well, for a start, she was NOT a vegetarian at the time she was eating chicken. So, she’s got her facts wrong right from the start!
I’d like to know what her REAL problem is, but I very much doubt that she wants to explore that. All of us have problems, but we don’t all deal with them by means of sarcasm and inaccuracy.
*yawn* This article is so boring. You’d think someone who’s absolutely convinced of hir superiority over all other species would have something interesting to add to the world.
Funny that you mention that vegans are arrogant. I haven’t seen an anti vegan piece as arrogant if not ignorant as this piece. You know, we give nonvegans slack. We understand that our society is a very speciesist one and has been indoctrinated for centuries.
However, in your case, you decided to take on the more obnoxious Glenn Beck route. Now, before you start misunderstanding my words (which I am sure you will be quick to do), I am not insinuating that you are a Republican.
Vegans have done the research. You, April and your very few supporters, have not.
Wow never knew there were so many butthurt vegans who read this paper. Guess you take time off from riding crappy bikes with no gears and listening to independent music to read our school newspaper. Now you make statements like speciesist (i think you just made that word up or got it from some bozo like peter singer). You are a traitor to our “species”.
And silencedogood’s sound rational arguments (or rather, assumptions, stereotypes, hostility, name-calling, prejudice towards non-Christians, misrepresentation of animal rights activists, et al.) are a fine example of the sort of dialogue which hateful articles like Ehrlich’s inspire…
@silencedogood is a traitor to our “species” anything like a race traitor? Please comment, i would just like to know how much of a redneck you are..