By Ashleigh Johnson

Daily Titan Copy Editor

Once, long before I achieved the rampant fame and glory that comes with being a college newspaper columnist (I’m sexing up a supermodel and eating a baby California condor sandwich right now!), I was a child. Like most children, I loved cartoons.

However, I also had a father who loved cartoons more than my younger brother and I. Since he actually had money and was capable of performing bribes, my brother and I usually watched whatever my dad wanted to watch.

And so my TV-watching days were spent with the likes of “Looney Tunes,” “Batman,” “Green Hornet” (technically not a cartoon but shut up, it was awesome), “Get Smart” (again, not a cartoon, but whatever) and of course “Super Friends.”

Some background for those of you who were not hardcore enough to watch Super Friends: The show was a Hanna-Barbera cartoon that ran from the early ’70s to the mid ’80s. It was about the various hijinks of several superheroes (including Batman, Wonder Woman and Superman) who were also friends. No one knows how they got the name for the show.

Anyway, my favorite character on the show was by far Aquaman. Oh yes, that Aquaman. The dude who talks to fish. I relish your scorn.

Aquaman has sort of a bad reputation in popular culture. It has been said that he effectively is useless as a superhero, that his costume is lame, that he is worse than Robin in terms of being useful. Lies, I say! Lies and slander! … Except for maybe the costume thing. You have a point there.

Allow me to get one thing straight: Aquaman is one of the straight-up old school superheroes. He was a part of the original Justice League lineup and a total badass.

Whereas most superheroes were relatively tame, Aquaman’s stories ranged from dark (baby murder via asphyxiation) to downright bizarre (Aquaman goes to Hollywood to stalk an actress).

More recent incarnations of Aquaman depict him losing his hand to piranhas and subsequently replacing it with a retractable harpoon hand.

Holy. Crap. (Insert the hardcore death metal song of your choice here). It doesn’t get much more awesome than a hook that shoots from his stump.

The harpoon hand has since been replaced with something called the Waterbearer hand, which has magical properties, including the ability to kill someone with a touch and the ability to function if severed from Aquaman’s body.

Not as badass as a harpoon hand, but hey, I’m old fashioned like that.

As far as powers go, Aquaman can do far more than communicate with fish. He’s resistant to heat, has super strength, super speed, super endurance (for the ladies!), enhanced senses and can do magic.

He’s also one of the few superheroes who has resigned from the Justice League. Sure, he still helps out every once and awhile, but only if there’s something in it for him because he is too old for the Justice League’s proverbial shit.

Did I mention that he’s the king of Atlantis?

He also almost got his own live-action show once, which would have been a spin-off of the popular “Smallville” franchise. The show is now in production limbo due to the WB and UPN merger, but the pilot episode is available for purchase on iTunes (watch it; it’s awesome).

Ladies and gentlemen, I propose that we start a movement to ensure that this often-misunderstood superhero gets the recognition he deserves.

It’s time to rise up, my brethren, to take down “The Man” (he hates Aquaman – and puppies), for together we are strong.

The Wonder Twins still suck ass, though.