By Jeremiah Magan

Daily Titan Opinion Editor

Hate is a funny thing. Everyone does it, but few people approve of it. I, on the other hand, feel that hate has its place in this world; it’s a basic part of human nature.

Of course, I do not approve of hating people because of their race, creed or religion, but I do believe it is acceptable to hate the things people do and the things they create.

If you are going to hate something, it is helpful if you understand it; that way you don’t look foolish when you attempt to explain your feelings of contempt. Hate the sin, not the sinner, and understand both.

If you take the time to learn about the things you hate, you may find yourself capable of tolerating those things. It’s not always possible, but at least you’re making an effort.

One of the things in this world that I feel completely justified to hate is “Twilight.”

Upon hearing the premise of the film when it was released last year, I immediately shunned the idea of ever subjecting myself to the two-hour, bloodless suckfest.

I don’t know much about vampires, but I do know that the sun is supposed to make them burn up like a month-old Christmas tree next to an electrical socket, not sparkle like the jewelry counter at a department store.

For two years I made fun of “Twilight” and pretty much anyone who said it was a great book/film. I haven’t read any of the books (I’m not a masochist), but by all accounts from people whose opinions I trust, they are somehow worse than the film.

A close friend, who had seen “Twilight” and knew how bad it was, lectured me about how it was immature to hate things on principle alone – something I often did when I knew a movie, book or band was bad before ever experiencing it myself.

I ignored his lectures and continued to hate things based on principle.

I finally caved to pressure, though, when another friend approached me with the idea of watching the film. At first I was resistant.

Actually, I wanted to run away screaming and avoid her for the rest of my life because I thought she had become a “Twi-tard.”

Sensing my apprehension, she explained that the film would be accompanied by an extra audio track which included the voices of three people making fun of the film.

“RiffTrax,” as it is known, features the voice talent and comedic styling of the cast from “Mystery Science Theater 3000.”

My fears were immediately put to rest; I knew I was in good hands. The cast of “MST3K” was going to be my guide to a world I dared not venture into alone.

As we synced the movie with the supplemental audio track, I could feel my apprehension building once again. “What if they had an off day and this track was not as funny as their past work?” I was getting nervous. “What if they actually liked the film?”

The audio began with a blank screen and familiar voices began to debate about whether or not the vampires’ entire bodies sparkled when they were in the sun. As they discussed the possibility of a vampire having a sparkling reproductive organ, I was once again reminded that I was in good hands.

Every joke was spot-on, every character flaw was exposed and every plot hole was filled with a comment about how dull, boring and one-dimensional “Twilight” creator Stephenie Meyer made her characters. But even with the humor that “MST3K” forcibly injected into every scene, it hurt to watch the film and listen to the dialogue that wasn’t drowned out by our laughter.

It took a few attempts for my friend and I to finish the film. We learned that “Twilight” was better taken in small doses and spread the viewing of the film across several days.

When we finally reached the climax of the film, which was drenched in syrup and cheese instead of blood and sinew like it should have been, we were thankful. We could finally make fun of the film with some authority, and we were able to maintain our sanity as we gained the unholy knowledge.

I never thought anything could make the film version of a teenage girl’s wet dream bearable; I was wrong.

Now if only the guys from “MST3K” could to a “RiffTrax” of Fall Out Boy music, maybe I could tell my friend with some authority why his favorite band is the worst thing to happen to music since Eddie Murphy and Rick James collaborated to create “Party all the time” … Look it up.