By Daniel Batalla
Published: October 18, 2009
By Daniel Batalla
Daily Titan Columnist
My fascination with the transgender lifestyle began long before I fully understood what being transgender really meant.
As a child, rather than play swords with the other boys, I would hide away in my room and fashion cocktail dresses out of my bed sheets.
I knew asking my parents to take me shopping in the “little miss” section wouldn’t go over very well, but in my head I could create gowns that would rival those that Christy Turlington would wear on the catwalk.
As I got older, I began to understand that, though I enjoyed playing in my make-believe designer duds, there was a community out there that didn’t just want to dress in drag, they wanted to change their gender.
Even for someone who is as interested in the transgender lifestyle as I am, the terminology can be a bit overwhelming and at times confusing: Genderqueer, third gender, transsexual, transgender and Hijra are not household terms, at least not in my house.
Now, I’m not saying that I want to change genders because, frankly, I think I would make one hideous woman.
But I do think it’s time the transgender lifestyle made its way into mainstream America.
With movies such as “TransAmerica” (one of my favorites) and shows like “Ugly Betty” featuring transgendered characters, audiences all over the world are becoming more familiar with a topic that used to be considered taboo.
More and more transgender people are breaking ground in today’s media.
Christine Jorgensen, the first widely known individual to undergo sex-reassignment surgery, led the way for the Amanda Lepore’s and Chaz Bono’s of today to gain acceptance.
As a teenager, my fascination with trannies developed from a genuine interest into more of an appreciation for a group of people who dared deviate from society’s norms.
Midway through my junior year in high school, a transgendered transfer student shocked the student body when she enrolled in our school.
The rumors had begun circulating all over the school even before I had seen her.
I was asked four times in a single day, “Have you seen the he-she?”
On the way to my locker one day, I passed a group of jocks who were pointing down the hall to a girl wearing fitted jeans and a red mesh jersey.
It was the girl whom the entire student body had been talking about.
Sashaying past me, the Filipino girl had blonde highlights and a sprinkle of acne on her overly made up face.
As she drew nearer, she shot me the dirtiest look, as if to say, “Keep your distance.”
Whereas the school had labeled her a faggot, I had labeled her a bitch. Whenever I saw her, she seemed irritated and annoyed.
She would shout profanities at students and give the middle finger for no apparent reason.
Then one day it hit me, she wasn’t a bitch, she was lonely.
She was acting out because in a school with a population of 3,500 students, she was truly unique.
I had never seen her walk to class with a friend or eat lunch with the girls.
As midterms began to wrap up, I decided I would invite her to sit with my friends during lunch.
But as quickly as she came to our school, she was gone.
I never saw her again.
As it turned out, she had been bumped from school to school because of the ridicule she encountered regularly.
Here I thought of myself as an outcast, and she was battling discrimination on a daily basis.
Looking back, I wish I could have stood up for her or at least have come to my realization about her loneliness sooner.
I could have reached out to her.
Being a teenager is difficult enough without having to wear your differences on your sleeve.
As years passed, my respect for the girl whom I never even introduced myself to grew.
In high school, I was too busy trying to blend in with the crowd while she was putting herself out there for the world to see.
Maintaining your individuality can be difficult, especially when there are people out there who are waiting to single you out for those individualities and eccentricities.
But at the end of the day, people like that girl in my high school could teach us a thing or two about staying true to ourselves.
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As a MtF Transsexual I appreciate what you are trying to say, but I DON’T like the way you say it! The term “trannies” is derogatory and is akin to the “N-word.”
Also, I don’t like the use of the word “lifestyle.” The term ‘lifestyle’ leads people to believe that being transgender is a “choice” when it is no more a choice than being male, female, Gay, straight, white or African-American.
I was about to say the exact same thing as Britany.
Thanks.
Many of the current generation of trans identified people think the term “tranny” (or transie) is insulting, in perspective, this is not universal especially those who transitioned years ago think of this as an affectionate, in community, term.
Terms are a minefield in transland. Those who transitioned years ago consider being called “transgender” an insult since the term was popularized by a rabid transsexual hating crossdresser. Add that classic transsexuals never trans (cross/change) gender (sense of one’s self as male or female) but correct the body (sex) to match the mind (gender)
Daniel, your understanding is appreciated, don’t let those who would hold you to understanding terms that have no common meaning even among trans people and people of trans history get to you. Kudos to you.
Daniel,
Thank you for your empathy. It is impossible to know what words are offensive want which are not, which crossdressers are rabid transsexual haters or not.
Brittany espressed some very valid and widely accepted points. To add one item, not in criticism, but to clarify, the words “a community out there that didn’t just want to dress in drag, they wanted to change their gender.” would more accurately reflect the truth by adding the word “presentation” to the end of the sentence.
You learned like I did, at an early age, that our gender presentation would not be readily accepted at home or in school. Since this sense of gender was innate,(I were not bitten by a radioactive spider)I did what was necessary in order to avoid ridicule. This meant I had to craft a gender presentation, whether it truly reflected me or not, that would be accepted by the world around me.
You are wonderfully correct and that people like “that girl” COULD teach us a thing or two about being true to ourselves. Thank you Daniel
I wasn’t trying to “get to” the author, merely tell them those words are offensive to most. Given the intent and tone of the article, I assumed he’d take it as constructive feedback. Sorry if it didn’t seem that way.
I’m still baffled by what a “transgender lifestyle” is though.
As a trans-woman, I have to agree what has been said in the other comments about the terms “tranny” and “lifestyle.”
What Brittney said is true as well what Rev. Cathryn said, the term is both hated but also used by some within the community. I personally find it offensive when used by someone not transgender, but I also look at the context that it was used.
Lifestyle is as Brittney and others have said is a choice. While being transgender is not a choice just as having blue eyes is not a choice. To me, lifestyle is driving around in a red convertible and wearing an Ascot or having a beard.
I am a trans woman as well and I don’t find the word “tranny” offensive. I use the term conservatively but every now and then I do identify myself as one just as a shorthand. I think it depends on the context. If you say “she [or he, in the case of trans men] is a beautiful tranny” then I see nothing negative about that. That said, perhaps “lifestyle” is the wrong term. Granted, when you think about it, if we were to worry too deeply about the use of lifestyle to define how we live, especially when being attacked for our desire to have equal rights by religious people, then it’s simply a matter of pointing out that you can’t discriminate against a religious person for their LIFESTYLE, which *is* a choice, so they should keep their mouths shut.
The article itself is very interesting. The pain she must have gone through, just trying to be herself and having so much trouble finding acceptance — and the danger involved. Thank you for that, and thank you for not being negative.
Ask any five trans people their opinion/stand on anything and you’ll get fifteen replies.
In other words, no single trans persons speaks for all and never will. This is important to remember when some claim authority to be offended on behalf of all. In order to maintain their own identities in the face of a world that would deny them, transpeople become the most stubborn and opinionated people on the planet.
As a former student of CSUF and who has transtioned from “male” to female, I consider Brittany’s comments to be largely valid. The term “tranny” is actually in common use throughout the TG community and only recently have we found a growing resentment to the term. I think Brittany’s opinion on its usage is indicative of the time in which we live and “tranny” will be a term that will eventually fall into disuse among transgender people of all kinds.
For those who are “transgenderists” after the manner of Virginia Prince and Tri-Ess, who live opposite their birth sex and have no intention of obtaining surgery, “transgender” may represent a lifestyle. However, a “transsexual” is NOT living a lifestyle. A transsexual is aligning life to what he or she knows to be the truth of who he or she is. It’s an identity issue in this case, not a lifestyle issue.
Yet, Daniel Batalla’s article attempts to do something very positive. When I attended CSUF in the 70’s, I wasn’t fully “out.” I knew my gender identity was not in alignment with what I was assigned by the world. In fact I was struggling to make sense of what I needed to do at all. I did cross dress at the time. I sensed I needed to transition but had no sense of how. But I did face a very hostile environment from other students who also knew that I wasn’t really a “man.” In that day it meant a lot of ridicule. It meant a lot of non-cooperation in what was supposed to be group efforts at learning. It meant a lot of imposition of shame that drove me to the edge of suicide more than once. Eventually I dropped out of college altogether and never had opportunity to return because of work schedule demands and eventually an inability to make sense of how I could financially survive a return to school. Because of this, I know the future doesn’t belong to me. It can belong to the next generation of transgender people…if we let it.
I did have the opportunity to serve San Francisco’s Transgender Civil Rights Implementation Task Force as an Employment Committee Secretary in 2000. This group worked for change in state law in the form of AB 196, which gave legal protections to transgender people for the first time. Passage was a huge win for my demographic. But even so, passage doesn’t stop people from discriminating. It doesn’t stop people from seeking to harm or even to kill us, sometimes even in the name of religion. We remember those who were killed each year about November 20, at the Transgender Day of Remembrance. This year, there are many from 2008-2009 to remember, each murdered for being “different.”
Mr. Batalla, you learned. You are continuing to learn. While your words may not have gone over with all of us who live under the “transgender”label, I certainly respect your facing the issue directly. Blessings.
Theories, suppositions and opinions are the hovels of biases. I do not have the luxury of any, yet, being human, own them all. I prefer my experience, not my understanding of yours. I am a transsexual, for better or for worse and whatever that word means to others. My innate gender is female and my innate physiology is male. That’s good enough for me. Let me do me, and you do you…..
Seriously, “trannies” As a transgendered women myself, and owner of Transgender Consulting, LLC I am applaud by your UNPROFESSIONAL language! Is that seriously what you would call me to my face? Is that what you would call me behind my back?….short answer YES YOU WOULD, you have proven your contemt simply by using such a derogatory term. I can speak this not only for myself, but for my wife, and all my transgendered clients! Seriously GROW UP!
Samara
Jenna does open up an issue of definition from her comment at 11:11. The definitions I have used were those of Virginia Prince who initially coined the word, “transgender,” at to pertaining to transgenderists about the year 1990. Her purpose of the term did not allow inclusion of transsexuals. There is another use that has legal precedence in the State of California, applied originally by the San Francisco Human Rights Commission in the late 1990’s. The HRC definition is an “umbrella term” that includes all whose perceived gender characteristics are contrary to that which was assigned at birth and all who are androgynous. Within this definition, the HRC expressly cited pre-op, post-op, and non-op transsexuals, male and female cross dressers, female and male impersonators, also drag queens and kings. The definition was published by the City and County of San Francisco in 1999 as “Compliance Guidelines for the Prevention of Gender Identity Discrimination.”
This broad definition might not have been acceptable to Virginia Prince originally, but the broad definition was necessary to allow law to be written as to not exclude anysubgroup from the effect of discrimination on the basis of gender identity. I think that if anyone considers what we want to broadly achieve in the way of civil rights, can understand why a broad definition would be preferred by most.
Daniel
Your article was actually very heart felt. The problem with addressing the trannies is most of them are on the offense before you manage to get the first word out. Can’t blame them. Most of them had to fight for every minute of life they own.
Your kindness and honesty was evident in your post. ‘You’ I wouldn’t mind getting to know. I don’t believe I would have to walk the line between fire and hate to have a normal conversation. There are an awful lot of good transsexuals out there who don’t have their dagger out waiting to stab you for misspeaking. Many of us have heard the vile condemnation for blurring the boundaries between male and female. I have found when males and females have strong enough hold on their own gender, we “trannies” don’t frighten them. They are really nice people.
Have fun with life. It’s too short to take it seriously.
always,
Barb
I was really appalled by the term tranny as well as I find it quite marginalizing and dehumanizing. But what I really want to know because for the life of me I have no idea what you’re talking about “What in the hell is the transsexual lifestyle”? As a transsexual woman, do you know anything about my life? How much money I make, whether I fly first class, coach or if I even bother with commercial at all. What kind of car do I own and which stores do I shop in. Which part of town do I live in and how much is my rent or mortgage? Those things are more indicative to lifestyle than sexual preference or identity. Like I always told my grandmother, you and Elizabeth Taylor may both be heterosexual women, but I promise you, you don’t have the same lifestyle!
Oh Danny, I remember her! She dropped her cell phone once in the hall and I brought it over to her, and to thank me she hugged me and told me I had nice hair.
It’s unfortunate how she was so poorly received and misunderstood at our high school, but I’m positive where she came from she was Top Diva. There are so many trannies in the Philippines, and the lines are so blurred, which is strange considering the strong Catholic influence. Culturally you see a lot less shock and disdain towards people who dig gender-f-ing. I think you’d really dig a vacation there. We should go!
I have to agree with Samara, dropping the “T”bomb isn’t cool. We have fought too hard, and too long for someone claiming to be an advocate to use such derogatory language when referring to us. I hate those terms, and I see how they are used to keep us down, and pigeon hold us to a cubbyhole society has put us in. It’s a good thing Danniel Batalla never chose to transition, cause the TS community would send his fetishistic transvestite self back home crying to momma. The TS women I know, and hang out with, will not tolerate being demeaned in any way, by anyone. We are professionals, and have respect for who and what we are, and what we’ve done with our lives. We aren’t sex workers or fetishistic about being the women we are. I feel that as a reporter, you have a duty to us, your readers, to go to better sources for your future articles on the TS community, instead of gay bars, online forums, and the T porn industry. I feel this article does us more harm then good, Thanks for knocking us back down a few notches dude. BTW, Transamerica stunk. If you want to see a real movie about TS, try “Ma Vie en Rose.”
I don’t see that Mr. Batalla was referring to “gay bars, online forums, and the T porn industry,” as Shayna Lynn cites. What he wrote was more introspective, considering the issue from where he stood in his own failure in a school setting to recognize a need a transitioning person had. I don’t believe this is a demeaning thing. Most students at Cal State come from like perspectives and all have to work through preconceptions of others like transsexuals. We can’t expect someone like him to begin a perspective from within the transgender ranks. While “tranny” is becoming more recognized as a derogatory term, others have to catch up just like any number of us have to catch up concerning what is derogatory regarding race or ethnicity.
BTW, even if this was an article bashing transsexuals, addressing the issue still causes people to think.
No, he didn’t, not outright, but from the language being used, it’s pretty obvious to me, that his info isn’t coming from self respecting TS. As for being demeaning, SHEMALE, TRANNY, and the like are porn/sex worker terms, and very derogatory to transsexual women. Porn in general is demeaning to the majority of all women. I’m not a girlie man, or a car part, or a gurl/gyrl/grrrl. I’m a woman, in mind, body, spirit, the eyes of the law, my family/friends, and the man that loves me. Like many other women I have worked hard, and paid my dues to acquire this tittle. We deserve better than someone claiming to be on “OUR” side calling us something less than we are. WE ARE WOMEN. To address us as anything else is debasing, and indicative of a put down. Being called a beautiful tranny IS a put down, when compared to being called a beautiful woman, for it implies that we don’t deserve better.
I’ve been through the TS grinder, I’ve been teased, picked on as a kid, discriminated against, beaten, bashed, raped, sold into prostitution by a former Master, and nearly killed by him for refusing to continue debasing myself, and it was all ok, cause I’m TS. I/we deserve better.
BTW: It will cause them to think alright. Think that the stereotypes they’ve heard of, and the misrepresentations that are portrayed in TS porn are accurate, and that we as a group approve of these terms, and all live that life. If this is how we are addressed by “so-called” advocates, how will this have a positive affect on the bigotry we face??? No matter how you slice it comes up the same… Being considered to be less than we are, and this is not good.